If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize