we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
