it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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