So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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