Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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