yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
