Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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