i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I look better un-naked...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
