One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
