Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize