imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
