If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I will pee on everything he values.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
