New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
