I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize