"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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