I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize