Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
