the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We have started to decorate penises.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
