FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
