the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
honey bunches of taint.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
