No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
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For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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