planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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