listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.