Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.