Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.