Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.

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(206): Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too. http://tfl.nu/q39q

Replies (9) Good night (1506) Bad night (494)
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(509): View more from Washington

Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

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(509): Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you http://tfl.nu/tpo5

Replies (30) Good night (13689) Bad night (895)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...

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(937): I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub... http://tfl.nu/665a

Replies (9) Good night (6101) Bad night (596)
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(757): View more from Virginia

It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.

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(757): It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it. http://tfl.nu/6y9b

Replies (36) Good night (5709) Bad night (1093)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.

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(613): Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B. http://tfl.nu/8gac

Replies (22) Good night (1005) Bad night (6011)
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(281): View more from Texas

Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?

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(281): Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner? http://tfl.nu/iojv

Replies (18) Good night (834) Bad night (3664)
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(207): View more from Maine

If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...

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(207): If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will... http://tfl.nu/8p69

Replies (15) Good night (1056) Bad night (1913)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs

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(615): You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs http://tfl.nu/j07e

Replies (1) Good night (1394) Bad night (453)
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(646): View more from New York

Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.

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(646): Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/s0ys

Replies (5) Good night (3293) Bad night (615)
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(407): View more from Florida

I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.

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(407): I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs. http://tfl.nu/utt1

Replies (9) Good night (2242) Bad night (462)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.

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(778): Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here. http://tfl.nu/7as8

Replies (6) Good night (1449) Bad night (574)
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(906): View more from Michigan

Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.

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(906): Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die. http://tfl.nu/zxmz

Replies (7) Good night (2429) Bad night (392)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers

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(778): Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers http://tfl.nu/9sqe

Replies (1) Good night (994) Bad night (342)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.

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(902): I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/cu8d

Replies (4) Good night (1264) Bad night (771)
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(545): View more from

You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.

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(545): You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request. http://tfl.nu/ec9g

Replies (1) Good night (928) Bad night (360)

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