Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.

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(636): 12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome. http://tfl.nu/wffb

Replies (10) Good night (2688) Bad night (832)
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(713): View more from Texas

Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together

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(713): Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together http://tfl.nu/ix8i

Replies (15) Good night (1647) Bad night (2605)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.

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(720): Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls. http://tfl.nu/micp

Replies (29) Good night (3747) Bad night (1009)
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(386): View more from Florida

I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.

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(386): I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man. http://tfl.nu/h9ms

Replies (43) Good night (1130) Bad night (4487)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."

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(724): the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year." http://tfl.nu/oy1q

Replies (26) Good night (1370) Bad night (4871)
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(718): View more from New York

I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.

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(718): I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed. http://tfl.nu/ihm6

Replies (9) Good night (1627) Bad night (3834)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.

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(575): Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again. http://tfl.nu/4z0a

Replies (5) Good night (4075) Bad night (1563)
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(239): View more from Florida

No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him

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(239): No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him http://tfl.nu/yi67

Replies (12) Good night (1401) Bad night (2143)
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(602): View more from Arizona

After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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(602): After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum. http://tfl.nu/w0v8

Replies (5) Good night (1891) Bad night (567)
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(260): View more from Indiana

...oh my god that's like anal suicide

(1-260): View more from Indiana

I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.

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(260): ...oh my god that's like anal suicide (1-260): I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak. http://tfl.nu/xgzk

Replies (9) Good night (664) Bad night (1788)
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(509): View more from Washington

HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS

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(509): HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS http://tfl.nu/4o5n

Replies (5) Good night (1701) Bad night (484)
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(801): View more from Utah

Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.

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(801): Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype. http://tfl.nu/layx

Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (477)
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(+86): View more from China

Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.

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(+86): Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage. http://tfl.nu/0ehg

Replies (5) Good night (920) Bad night (304)
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(517): View more from Michigan

There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE

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(517): There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE http://tfl.nu/onaq

Replies (5) Good night (836) Bad night (401)
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(734): View more from Michigan

When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.

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(734): When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office. http://tfl.nu/5u6k

Replies (8) Good night (728) Bad night (321)

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