Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.

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(571): View more from Virginia

i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.

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(409): View more from Texas

It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(954): View more from Florida

damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly

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(585): View more from New York

By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...

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(813): View more from Florida

MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.

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