i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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