I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
