I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
