For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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