Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
