just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
