Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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