this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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