i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
