I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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