I hate all girls vehemently.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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