we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He shit in the fireplace
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
