why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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