There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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