I have demons in me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
