8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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