So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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