hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
