Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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