we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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