Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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