My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
