Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
sarcasm needs its own font
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
