just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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