i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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