You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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