No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
