Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize