Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
