no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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