they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
