It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
