i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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