But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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