No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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