I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
