I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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